So, the real reason for my new adventure has to do with family that I’ve never been very close with. Specifically my dad. He and I have never had a strong relationship, and I’ve always been pretty sad about that fact. But he’s not a bad guy, just an emotionally distant one.
He also isn’t in the best of health. He had a stroke almost 20 years ago now, and for the past 3-4 years his health has really started to decline. He now resides in a nursing home.
So one day I was hearing a conversation about how a daughter quit her job to move home to take care of her father- and in that moment I knew I was supposed to move half way across the country to be closer to my dad (I will not be taking care of him- he’s in a good place and I need to work). So I set about getting things in order in California and sold my condo, quit my job and am moving to Minnesota.
Dear children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth.
-1 John 3:18
LOVE is action. I believe that and I am trying to obey and act out of LOVE. And it is scary because what if that LOVE is not returned. I know that I have no control over that. I know that reciprocating LOVE cannot be my motivation. But I’m still so scared.
And what if I move halfway across country and I still can’t say the things I need to say, or be present the way I need to be. There is so much of my dad in me. So much detachment, so many walls and barriers.
The famous passage in 1 Corinthians 13 tells us all of what “Love is..” but I think the one that I’m trying to learn right now is “Love always trusts”. Do I believe that God will see me though what He is calling me to? Do I believe that the Spirit will fill me with love and with the right words and the right actions? Do I believe? Do I trust?
If I had LOVE then the answer is an easy yes.. because LOVE always trusts. And LOVE also always hopes. And here I am, walking where I am not sure, acting where I feel unsteady. May my hope lead to trust. May my actions help lead me to LOVE.
I am unsure and scared, but I am called to trust in you, to hope in you. May my LOVE be deep enough to hold that trust and that hope. May my actions be bold and my LOVE be evident for all who encounter me. Prepare me for the task you set before me. Prepare the hearts of those who you would call me to be present with. Teach me to LOVE them, to LOVE them with the LOVE you have for them. Fill me with the Spirit and may I be filled with the fruit of LOVE.
In Jesus name, AMEN